Why Do i Wake UP at 3 am-where is the Love that we should have

Nothing happens in this world by mistake......up at three and roll around and try to figure out how to listen to The Great Spirit.....so i read some daily devotionals and now i am back at this site.....Friday night our Chair at the meeting snapped at a newcomer-fresh to the real world and one day out of treatment.she went on and on about this guy that tried to 13step her and got into a lot of detail.....he as chair told her to stay to the topic wich was about Opinions on Outside issues....she said she was trying to explain...crying out for help-has not known anyone ,a visitor from out of town-poor thing and then he said like a bull dog well we can not go into to much detail ....and she said she will then leave......
who is to say he was wrong....he is the chair.....who is to say she is wrong.....newcomer -does not have a sponsor.......my sponsor stick with the chair and i differ
my opinion is that mr bulldog should ask her to speak with ladies after the meeting and did not have to chase her away....i am only going for 5 years but if the old timers chase newcomers away.....i dont know...i spoke and said who is to say he?she is right/wrong and i dont like confrontation ...specialy when a newcomer leaveand this can lead to the disease killing her because she felt that she was casted out
i dont know-The longer i am in this program the less i know
any suggestions
just another Bozo on the bus
james B

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Comment by Scott Richardson on November 9, 2009 at 5:04am: Things do happen in the world by mistake. Not everything is as God wants it. Paul O said later he'd like to have that line back. I happen to think lots of things are messed up because of self centeredness, not only ours, but everyone's.
The concept of principles before personalities is tough for newcomers. I hope women got up and went out to speak with her before she got away.

Comment by Eileen H. on November 2, 2009 at 5:09pm: I have been at many meetings where there is a change of topic either by a newcomer or an old timer... My opinion, for what its worth , is that when chairing one needs to not have any expectations and that our primary purpose is to help another alcoholic. I have seen alot in 21 yrs. and my belief is love and tolerance which isn't always easy. I have actually been to meetings where people who were drunk were asked to leave fortunatly there has always been one or two of us to go out after them and share or listen.... Follow your heart and allow recovery to show up ,it always does if we let it.

Comment by Sara VP on November 2, 2009 at 3:00pm: I have been the chairperson who has (I hope) gently interrupted a person with less than a year who talks endlessly. Heck, I've gently interrupted old timers who go on and on...and on. What we usually do in this situation is remind them that others would like to share and that someone would be glad to talk to her after the meeting, including myself. Usually when we have a newcomer, we try to make Step 1 the topic, or what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now.

That being said, there are a couple of people in meetings who frown and shake their heads at me when I've done that. They feel that the newcomer should be allowed to talk for however long they want about whatever they want. It has made me feel like maybe I'm wrong, but I've prayed about it and don't think I am (not totally wrong, any way). I've yet to interrupt someone who hasn't come back because of booze. Anger in the room has driven more folks away. A lady could have helped that gal so much.

That being said, I have to be honest.....smut talk would probably make me get up and walk out. I'm at meetings to find solutions, not listen to a drunkalog. I'll be interested to hear other opinions on this...I appreciate the topic!!!!

Comment by Doc on November 1, 2009 at 12:01pm: dear one--I have seen many things in meeting for the last 38 years--fights, verbal abuse, and one stabbing---I can't take sides on this one--I can only say this--the chair could have handled it a little differently and with love and dignity--why would he expect a new comer to share anything--life is hard enough when we detox and we are scared and confused--I chair a noon meeting on Fri. and I let people share what ever they NEED to share--of course I have the "meeting police" there sometimes and they dog me because I allow people to share about alcohol or drugs, sex or gambling--people are there to get well and god knows I have had issues with all the above in my soberity--so that is my 2 cents on the subject--please don't allow anyone in AA to try and change how you feel on anything---you have the right to your oponion--soberity is our goal--the rest of it is human behavior---much love Doc