What does Length of Sobriety Mean?

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Comment by zoolie on August 16, 2010 at 7:37pm

I was told that time doesnt matter unless you dont have any?
I would much prefer where I am today than the first day or the first week or hell, even the first year clean...it was hell and it hurt so much, emotionally, physically, etc...
I dont care what type of sobriety you have, if you havent drank/used in a lot of days, you are doing OK.
Frankie...you make me smile :-) Thank you so much. 34 is something to stand up and cheer...let me shake your hand, sir.

Comment by Robert H on July 29, 2010 at 12:07pm

I remember when I was new I thought the people with a year of sobriety were gurus and now I wonder how they stay sober but the only thing that has change is me.
To me the most important thing about long term sobriety is that it shows me it can be does. Yes there is a lot of untreated Alcoholism in the rooms with time. As far as how other work their program well that is up to them. I have no idea where there came from. I have known a few 20 year in and outers that People (which I was one of them)think they are just screwing around but then I realize that they lives would have been much worse off is they hadn’t come around at all.
My job is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers it does put a time frame on the message.

Comment by Dan L on July 28, 2010 at 5:54am

Mark,
I have 16 1/2 years and I am saying that for me, Time don't matter.

I would disagree, for my recovery, I hope I never forget what 16 1/2 days felt like. The desperation and the misery of not wanting to live, but not knowing how to change was a magical time in my recovery. I know for myself, over time I loose sight of what it really felt like to have the true gift of desperation. kinda like the saying "The further away from your last drink you get, the closer you get to the next". The amount of time I have in recovery means nothing. I can still exhibit the same behaviours and actions I did when I was using and be in just as much misery with 50 years of sobriety if I do not work the steps and apply the spiritual principles I have learned daily. When I put more focus on my length of sobriety and not on the quality of my sobriety, then I am in trouble...
Hey look, I had two more cents.
Dan L.

Comment by Friend_of_Bill_W on July 28, 2010 at 5:40am

My name is Mark . . . and I'm a Recovered Alcoholic!

Yes ...... we only get One Day at a Time - But if you don't think ten and a half years is better than ten and a half dAAys - you probably haven't got there!

It seems to me; most of the alkies that say time doesn't matter - don't have very much of it!!

Comment by Sara VP on July 28, 2010 at 5:38am

After a while, for me anyways, it ceases to be about sobriety date and moves into the realm of quality of life. Energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes and length of sobriety. No one promised that we'd stop being assholes when we got sober. I'm attracted to serenity and people who can work through their problems in healthy ways that don't take everyone down with them.

I picked my sponsor because she had problems and got through them. She used the program, not just on her drinking, but on every aspect of her life (some aspects more successfully than others, cuz she is human). I'm attracted to the people who have joy back in their lives and know how to share it with others.

Having said all this, I guess I don't place as much importance on sobriety date as much as I did when I was newer. It's quality, not quantity that attracts me.

Comment by Dan L on July 28, 2010 at 5:18am

In order for me to be around people in recovery that enhance my recovery, I find that I must take others inventory to an extent to be able to see who fits into my sobriety and who don't. So I think it is important to not so much judge, but take a close look at the quality of each persons sobriety. As far as length of time... I think it goes back to " It is not quantity but quality" I am was sitting here back in Jan. coming up upon 16 years of continuous sober time and found myself "Stark raving sober" The amount of time I have does not keep me sober, it is the work I do daily that keeps me sober. I certainly see older folks who feel they have paid their dues and no longer need to help out, contribute
or be involved aside of going to meetings, but I also know some older folk's who are still in the middle of the program and work it daily. I try to hang around folks, new or old, that got what I want. The first 100 didn't have chips or medallions. They didn't sit in the back of the room when they reached doubles, but then again, that was back when it was life or death...Today I think to many people count on the fact that A.A. will always be here for them so it is not always taken as seriously as it was when A.A.'s future was unstable. Want to hear about time vs. quality? check out a Big Book step study meeting and listen to old timers who awoke one day, after many years and found they were feeling just as miserable and acting just as alcoholic as they were when they were using. Like me.
Just my two cents.
YIS,
Dan L

Comment by Guy Lewis on July 28, 2010 at 3:18am

I do not know about if we should judge but I do know that thanks to God I have been blessed with 7483 "One Day at a Time" and I do feel as was already stated that we only really have today.

Comment by Amy(Wallace)C on July 27, 2010 at 3:32pm

I'm with the respect each person individually. I know far too many old timers who cannot hold down a job, do not pay their child support, prey on newcomers, let the basket pass by and never put a dime in it,
I know new peeps who get their lives on track, work every day, help out when asked, and clean up without being asked.
Does time in mean anything? Yes and no. I guess for myself, I do NOT want people who are still acting like they did when they were drinking to say "I've been sober in AA for double digit years". But, are some sicker than others? You bet!

Comment by Frank Mazzola on July 27, 2010 at 2:50pm

still kicking one day at a tme and woke up and got up sober this morning after Hmmmm coming up on ohhhh no lets C~~~~~~~~~just passed 34 continuous sobriety

Comment by BillKist on July 27, 2010 at 2:19pm

My standard answer..... I have one day sober....and 15 years expierience to help me stay that way.