Finding a life lost

I was talking to a past sponsor of mine recently. She was asking me why I dont go to as many meetings as I used to go to and why I wasnt involved in service any more. I told her that I had reached a point in my recovery where I felt OK not going to as many meetings as I had been going to, 5-6 a week, in the evenings after work, on the weekends at all times of the day, all the activities that the area held, the conventions and the womens get togethers, etc. I suppose I stopped doing all that b/c I wanted my life back. I went to NA b/c my life had become complete hell and miserable and I was dying out there. I came to NA to find my life again, and I did find it. I also realized that what was happening was that I had replaced my drug use with meetings and the NA fellowship, which isnt necessarily a bad thing if you dont have a life outside of that. But, I did. I had found my life with my family and friends and work, etc. b/c I went back to NA and found some sanity and was able to get clean again and hopefully to stay clean this time around. So, here I am, clean with some semblance of sanity, able to spend the time with my family and friends and work b/c I am clean and I owe that to the addicts of NA that helped me find myself again. I dont, however, have to spend every waking moment thinking and breathing and eating and smelling NA.

I went to NA to get clean and get my life back. Now that I have it back, I want to spend time with the people in my life. I found that going to meetings nearly every night and weekend and being involved with all the service work was just as addicting to me as the dope was and it was straining and ruining my life nearly as seriously as the dope was. Maybe everything in moderation? But then gain, that can't be a true statement b/c I can't use dope in moderation, it's all or nothing with me.

Do youall find this to be true about spending time in meetings and not with your family was causing difficulties with you?

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Comment by Aussie Glenda Truss on July 26, 2010 at 6:14pm: For me, I still like to attend at least 1 meeting per week. I go to AA to live out there in the real world with friends & family but I feel that I need a connection to AA to remember what it has given me & mainly to give back & help others

Comment by Cheryl F. on July 25, 2010 at 10:35am: If I had not gone to meetings I wouldn't have a family to go to, a house etc etc...I know but I got away from the program and after 27 yrs of sobriety I relapsed behind RX meds. It became easier to stay away but I was a mess. We also have a responsibility to carry the message and a duty to be there for the newcomer. I can't tell you what a miracle has occurred in my life that I was able to come back, and by sharing the truth about what happened to me I pray that it will prevent just one person from "doing it MY WAY"

Comment by Sara VP on July 22, 2010 at 5:18am: I know what you mean Zool...I'm really really enjoying being a friend among friends, a better family member, and a helper in my community. These are real gifts and I'm so grateful for them. I don't go to as many meetings any more...in fact, I now go to Alanon mostly...but I keep a toe in the water in AA because 1) Insurance and 2) someone was there for me when I came in. But yeah, I really love having my family back.

Comment by zoolie on July 21, 2010 at 6:39pm: any addiction can destroy a family and a life, even addictions to recovery programs, religion, vitamins, caregiving, what have you. If you spend all of your time doing something, be it dope, booze, 12 step meetings, etc, you are not spending the time nuturing your relationships and family. I'm just sayen...addition in any form is not a good, healthy, thing.

Comment by kismet on July 20, 2010 at 4:17am: I believe that getting sober was all about moving back into life. For the first 10 years of my sobriety that meant lots of meetings. It no longer does. Having said that I can also say that an addiction to a recovery program beats the hell out of addiction to drugs or alcohol.