What do funerals mean to you?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sara VP on March 11, 2010 at 5:45pm

For me funerals do many things:

They give me an opportunity to celebrate the life of the person, to share a part of their life and how they enriched mine.
They allow me to offer condolences to others mourning the loss and celebrating the life of a loved one.
They encourage both laughter and tears and memories of times past.
They offer us an opportunity for a final farewell.

I went to a lot of funerals early in my life which, as I see it, helped prepare me for the times ahead when I would be more invested in the lives of the dearly departed. Like I am doing now

Permalink Reply by zoolie on March 14, 2010 at 9:35pm

OMG...this is the 3rd attempt at posting here...dont know what is wrong with me...anyway
I think funerals serve both purposes, dont serve any purpose for the dead, and they cost too damn much money.
I treat old people, hell most of my pts are 85 or older. They read the obits every day and tell me who had died. And, if they cant read the obits and dont have someone who can read it for them, they ask me to read it to them. And then, if they are able to get out, they go to the funerals, week after week after week. They go to funerals of their friends and their families and they go to funerals of people they dont know. They just go. They meet friends there and meet new friends, they gossip and discuss the state of their bowels and their walkers and how everyone is looking. The tell me who was there, as if I know these people, which I dont. They tell me about the deceased, that "they looked extra good today" or "I havent seen them look that good in a long time" or "I wish I knew where they got her that dress". They just go and I think they like it. I am thinking that the older people get, they dont look at funerals the way younger people do. I am not 85 yet, not nearly near that age, but I am thinking that they might like to go because when they talk about it, they are not sad or anything like that. They like telling me who was there and how everyone looked and who wasnt there. Hell, most of my pts have their funerals planned, even the healthier ones, and they tell me what they are going to have at their funerals.
I personally dont go, I dont like them. I am not at all even remotely comfortable with the overwhelming emotions that are present inside me when I do have to go to be polite. But the older I get the more I want to fuck being polite and just remember the people I love as I saw them last instead of dead in a casket.

Permalink Reply by Robert H on March 16, 2010 at 9:41pm

Well am going to attend one tomorrow. I won’t be going for me, but rather to honor the man and the contribution he has made to me. I will also being going to see if I can bring some comfort to his family and friends. If I were doing this for I me I wouldn’t be going. Why would I want to be reminded about my own mortality?

Permalink Reply by DwightMayo on March 17, 2010 at 4:11pm

Rene to me a funereal is simply closure. I only go to them when i feel I need closure or when I want to give support to someone else there that does

Permalink Reply by BillKist on March 23, 2010 at 6:14pm

A funeral for me would mean I lost my battle with cancer. But i think they are a necessity of life.

Permalink Reply by CherylAnn Miller on June 17, 2010 at 8:18am

What zoolie said about old folks wanting to attend funerals made me think, yeah, the last few funerals I've attended were good opportunities to see folks I hadn't seen in a long time. It was such a comfort to me last year during my mom's funeral and the receiving before to have folks come by and express their concern for me and my family. Even when they didn't know what to say, it meant a lot that they came. I agree, funerals really do nothing for the dead, but if they had made their desires known about how they wanted their funeral to go, it would be a good thing to honor their wishes, I think.

Permalink Reply by BillKist on August 6, 2010 at 1:50pm

OK Heres my plan as of this moment. My son in law will make my dracula style casket..I plan to be cremated so I want a mini fire extinguisher placed in my hand for the viewing. I wish a sign to be placed so it is easily readable which says "Pardon me for not getting up. I'm a bit stiff today" I want my ball and chain for which I made the shackle to be near my body with a stack of "Slave" applications....it's a long running joke between my wife and I. I want all my AA books to be on display nearby as well as my 1968 printing of the 12 & 12 which I treasure. MY wife suggested I write down all my favorite sayings and we'll put those out as well but the MOST important thing I wish to do.....Some of you may remember a man came to FIR and asked if anyone wanted a cutting of the pass it on plant. I took a cutting and have been "Passing it on" ever since. I hope with the time left to make many plants and cuttings and have them available for those who want them.

Permalink Reply by Kristi p on March 22, 2011 at 11:53am

When my mother passed from cancer she had enough time to plan her services. She didnt want people aside from close family to view her for instance. This seemed fair, however many friend, collegues & church friends felt turned away. I know my mother would not have wanted this. The dead unfortunately are gone. Its the survivers who find benifit in the funeral & burial arrangments. I always wanted to be creamated, however since I have lost a dear uncle & mother & step father who were all creamated I have realized its difficult for me when I need a place to go to feel nearer to them. I guess however thats more an issue of mine & my Higher Powers. I think just as we all mourn differantly we also differ in many way in what the benifit is for us in the services

. God bless the survivors!