Are Meetings overrated?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chainsaw Jesse Tom on April 19, 2010 at 2:56pm

Hi Robert!

My text says, "Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:" and then it lists the twelve steps that they took. It's funny that you would bring this up at this time. I just about got into trouble last week at my home group when no one could come up with a topic and I suggested "meeting makers make it is bullshit" as a topic. I've heard that phrase over and over since I've been around AA, and I've noticed that it's not true.

To demonstrate my point, I stated that there are several people sitting in the room with me who have been coming to meetings for years and who only have been able to put together weeks and even days. I went on to say that only people who want to get sober do get sober. And I continued that I would be willing to wager that those who come to meetings and continue to drink are not working The Steps.

I was called a "Big Book Thumper" and then heard a dozen things that people thought they needed to do to get and stay sober. And all of the things that they said were good and valuable things. But from my own experience, making coffee, chairing meetings, starting new meetings, watching what happens to others, etc. did not get me sober. Working The Steps helped me get sober and keeps me sober.

Working with others also helps me stay sober. I am sorry to say that I haven't been on a real 12 step call in more than 10 years. I don't know anyone who goes on 12 step calls anymore. I've had several family members call me to get rehab info, but they never seem to want me to bring another AA and talk with their loved one.

Everything changes; nothing stays the same...

Permalink Reply by Old george on April 20, 2010 at 4:40am

Attrition
See also: Effectiveness of Alcoholics Anonymous: Results from Triennial Surveys
According to AA, most who start attending AA meetings drop out.[62] Every third year since 1968 AA has issued a pamphlet summarizing its latest triennial survey of meeting attendants. Additional published comments and analysis for academics and professionals have supplemented the survey results from 1970 through 1990.[5] The 1990 commentary evaluated data of triennial surveys from 1977 through 1989 and found that one quarter (26%) of those who first attend an AA meeting are still attending after one year. Furthermore, nearly one third (31.5%) leave the program after one month, and by the end of the third month, over half (52.6%) have left.[62] After the first year, the rate of attrition slows. Only those in the first year were recorded by month.[62] About 40% of the members sober for less than a year will remain another year. About 80% of those sober less than five years will remain sober and active in the fellowship another year. About 90% of the members sober five years or more will remain sober and active in the fellowship another year. Those who remained sober outside the fellowship could not be calculated using the survey results.[62]

Seems the "statistics" suggest that "meeting makers" do make it. However, I've noticed that (for myself) ..the longer I've been sober..the harder it is for me to sit thru an hour of what (more and more often) amounts to what you, (IMHO) accurately described as one or two people "spouting podium rhetoric". This gets old...it sure does; and it would be easy for me to justify just staying home, but I continue to attend...although I do question the "WHY" sometimes. Still...I go..because (as Dr. Bob once answered when similarly queried) #1 I am repaying a debt...giving back what was so freely given me. #2 I am "updating my insurance policy against another drink". #3 a sense of responsibility..that the doors of AA should always remain open... and #4 I find it to be a great pleasure."

Seems that everytime I find myself lapsing into negaitive thinking about what's wrong with meetings...a newcomer will show up who's in a desperate state...and the reason for my "fat butt' being there becomes very clear. These days, i try to look at mtgs. much like "garage sales"...lots of junk most of the time...but occasionally a treasure.

Permalink Reply by don_v on April 22, 2010 at 4:26am

...a newcomer will show up who's in a desperate state...and the reason for my "fat butt' being there becomes very clear.

There it is in a nut shell, Im living a good life because people were at the mid-night meeting. Maybe being there is making a 12 step call.

Permalink Reply by kismet on April 22, 2010 at 6:17am

Man, I hate that podium rhetoric!! I believe that working the steps is a better program of recovery than the actual meetings. That being said, you have to find a sponsor somewhere and meetings are good for that. I believe there are a number of things about contemporary AA that is not what our founders meant. Most of it bad but some of it is helpful. I do, however, think that meetings are emphasized more than the steps and traditions and I dont see that as a good thing.

Permalink Reply by Sara VP on April 23, 2010 at 5:25am

I like meetings because I usually hear how others are using the program to live life sober and hopefully, happy. It's an investment in others and myself. I also like discussing the principles in meetings and online with recovering folk. It's fun and energizing for me.

That being said, I could always do more. I don't go to as many meetings as I used to, but I've become a better member of my family, a better friend, a better member of my community. I engage instead of hiding. I reach out to people, both recovering and otherwise. I attend functions and donate to causes. And because this is a small town where I live, I meet recovery friends almost daily. So I guess I don't relate to "don't drink and go to meetings" as the only way to get/stay sober. I do think it's a good start though.

By the way, I don't go on very many "official" 12 step calls, meaning where 2 of us go out and visit the alcoholic in their homes or in the hospital, but isn't taking someone to a meeting a 12 step call? Isn't talking to the family of a drunk a 12 step call? I know you do a lot of service work along these lines, so the Gurus who sit in meetings and talk big, with adoring fans hanging on their every word can be REALLY ANNOYING.

Permalink Reply by Amy(Wallace)C on May 1, 2010 at 2:22pm

Bill Wilson said the sole purpose of an AA meeting is sobriety-freedom from alcohol- through the practice and teaching of the 12 steps. He said it, and I agree.

Around where I live sadly we do not discuss the Traditions, too much resistence. And we have topics like "forgiving self" and "meeting makers make it" and "crap I heard in rehab and think it applies to AA".

Jesse hit the nail on the head. And I would get the same reaction if I pointed that out at meetings where I live.

As far as formal 12 step calls, I don't see them being done like I did when I was first getting sober. Is that AA? or is that maybe that people are likely to approach their doctor who then may direct them to rehab, and then they get directed to AA? I'm thinking that may be more the scenerio.

Permalink Reply by zoolie on May 5, 2010 at 3:05pm

yes

Permalink Reply by zoolie on May 5, 2010 at 3:05pm

yes

Permalink Reply by MaJa on May 5, 2010 at 10:03pm

Hey hey FiR's,

I fully agree with Jessie's statement.
Some of the oldtimers I know still go to 12 step meetings. For me it is the cast iron proof: It works! On the other hand working the steps is an intimate process doing by sponsee/sponsor and all the other can hopefully see the results in the best case.
Yes, not only life, but AA are just a changing and a permanent construction.
I call it: Jump on the bandwaggon of recovery and you'll have your chance. Working the steps included.

Love and peace
MaJa

Permalink Reply by Robin L. on July 28, 2011 at 5:40am

I'm not AA but NA I have 22+ years in recovery, if it wasn't for going to meetings I'd probably have died 21 years ago.I owe my life to the rooms that were open for me. Anyone that thinks meetings are a waste of time needs to be in a meeting, something is wrong with their program.  I was told - A lot of meetings - a big chance, A few meetings little chance, - No meetings NO CHANCE.

 

If what I posted offends anyone, Call Your Sponsor and Work a Step!

Robin L.