My will? My high power's will? Frustration with Doctors...

Okay, so I'm really struggling at the moment of trying to balance acceptance but not passive behavior. I'm so frustrated that I keep bouncing around from crying to cursing to think I'm imaging it all.

I have a long list of medical issues that started when I very young(three years old). The biggest issue over the past year has been Endometriosis, I've been dealing with it for about fifteen years now. I'm a complicated case, I know that and the doctors know that. I agreed to go a scary medication because at the moment I need daily strong pain medication. I know not everyone will agree with that but it's between my sponsor, myself, my doctor and my higher power. I don't want to keep taking them if there are other options.

I truly feel that the best option will be surgery. That's why I agree to try this medication. It is supposed to be a 6 month course, two injections 90days apart. Now the doctor is at least feels like to me, tap dancing around the idea of surgery. Cause surgery has risks. But so does both the medication and putting an addict on a naracotic pain pill(he knows I'm in recovery).

I believe in my heart of hearts that surgery would get rid of a lot of my pain. I am not expecting to be pain free but I would love to just need pain meds very occasionally on the really bad days.

I know my body. I know I want to become a mother just not with biological children. I have wanted this surgery for over 11 years and never once had second thoughts.

I feel like my voice is totally lost because I'm young(27) and obviously just don't understand that surgery is scary and serious and not reversible. But I don't think he gets that I'm really at the end of my rope.

Um, basically I guess my questions is. how do you tell when it's the unvierise telling you surgery is a bad idea? or just a unhearing doctor?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Virgil on July 30, 2009 at 9:07am

Wow, Rachel, we can feel your pain.
If you need pain meds, then take-em.
We all have our triggers, and we learn to walk through them.(It's our choice)
Surgery should be the last resort, but if needed, then we do it.
We've been triggered all our lives by our feelings and emotions and even though we don't think about them consciously, we do make our choices based on them.
Once I found out why I made the choices I made, I was able to make the better choices and deal with my addictions so they no-longer control me.
So our prayers are with you.
Virgil

Permalink Reply by kismet on August 2, 2009 at 11:31am

Rachel,
I am not certain whether the surgery you refer to is for endometriosis. If it is then I can tell you that I have had surgery for it and it was no big deal. It was outpatient surgery and I went back to work two days later. It did require general anesthesia which of course comes with its own risks.

As for your medication you are correct when you state it is not anyone's business outside of those you mention. Too many doctors in the rooms who want to control other people---even when they have no idea what the other person is dealing wth

If I have read your post incorrectly I apologize.

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