elorac

New to this site

Hi everyone,

 

My name is Elorac and i am a 48 yr old alcoholic woman. I had what I hope to be my last drink yesterday 7/2/2010. I went to A.A meetings about 10 years ago and stayed for about a year. My problem was that I couldn't accept I was an alcoholic because i dont drink or want a drink everyday. I can go for weeks, sometimes months without wanting a drink and then out of the blue i'll take that first drink which always leads to me getting blind drunk, irresponsible, behaving like a complete idiot, falling over, blackouts and putting myself and others in danger, and last night was no exception! My life feels like a complete mess and I pray that after yesterday, this time i have finally truly accepted that I am an alcoholic in my drinking and in my thinking. I would love to hear from others especially other binge drinkers. xxxx

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Cheryl F.Permalink Reply by Cheryl F. on July 18, 2010 at 12:37pm
Elorac, I'm new to this site. Im a 58 yr old woman just celebrated 1 yr in AA. I had 27 yrs of sobriety and relapsed behind RX meds 2yrs ago. I just celebrated 1yr on 7/7/10 and I'm so grateful I came back. Being a newcomer is not easy for any of us and this situation just about did me in. I was ashamed to come back but in all my yrs in the program I knew I had to. I wasn't at all sure I wanted to even live and have also had to seek psychiatric care but a small, quiet voice told me that coming back may be my only chance. Thank God I did. Hang in there, I know this program works and you can have a life beyond your wildest dreams. Cheryl F.
Bill SPermalink Reply by Bill S on July 26, 2010 at 8:42am
Hello Elorac. My name is Bill and I think we could be related. I joined this site about a month ago but have not returned until today. I am a binge alcoholic too. I have the same problem......I never thought I could be an alcoholic because I also go days and weeks at a time with no problem. I don't even think about drinking most of the time. Saturday I was in a golf tournament that started at about 8:00 a.m. I started drinking and didn't stop until about 10:30 p.m. It was 110 degrees outside which made it that much worse. I couldn't speak, walk.......I don't know what the heck I am doing sometimes. What's worse is that sometimes I can have just one or two and stop. It gives me a false sense of control I think. All I know is that my wife doesn't derserve this. I don't understand why I act this way. I otherwise have a pretty good life. Financially ok, good job, nice home, loving wife. I don't know.

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